Tuesday, October 30, 2012


Its been a while since I last posted a blog and I apologize.
I can't even tell you how busy I've been. I enrolled in a few classes at FIT along with the freelance work at the magazine along with the balancing a long distance relationship with trips every month.

At the beginning of the summer I had a plan with my life motto 'Keep it Simple stupid'- where I would freelance, study music and stay healthy and active. I decided my perfect life would be to freelance by day and perform at night. I was truly successful and felt like I was thriving as a human being. Now I find myself stressed bc of the classes, work and emotionally stressed with constant adjustment of the heart/mind aspect of my relationship. It gets draining and the worst part is realizing I need a job that keeps me challenged, happy and constantly engaged- that which my current job does none of. Above all else, I MISS PERFORMING. I truly truly truly miss it. Even if it's simply doing so in class, that alones helps me feel like I'm growing and improving.  I don't remember the last time I did a proper warm-up.

I've since found myself so unhappy to the point where I prayed for a break.
Lo and behold- Sandy the Hurricane hit New York while I'm in Dallas visiting Adam. She has kept me here stationed up without a laptop, any books for class and access to design programs. I got what I asked for :) a break from missing my boyfriend, a break from working on bodybuilders and sewing/designing. Being stripped of all tasks and to-do's helps me realize what is important to me.
Safety, love, creativity and expression and progress.
If I had my sewing machine here, I'd be using it. Adam's cats and neighbors have probably never heard anyone sing so loud in his apartment. An Adam, wonderful Adam has kept me so safe. My rock.

A week or two ago I read a Q&A in an article that was really inspiring. The girl asked the guru something along the lines of: I'm 26 years old and my parents are cutting me off. There are no jobs, NYC is expensive. I have no money. what to do? etc...
Guru responded with: you don't need your parents to succeed. (or anyone else for that matter) You can CREATE your perfect job. get a free website. download a credit card machine for your smart phone. ... and went down a list of things to do to create your perfect job/life and not depend on anyone to do so.

My goal on this break is to create just that.
My perfect life still involves creative during the day but I realize just any creative won't cut it.

Safety, Love, Creativity and Progress....

Sounds like a new tattoo ;)