Its been a trying year but I find myself once again motivated.
I'm here to take back my life, my dignity, my talents, myself.
I'm over looking for love, excited about loving myself.
I'm worried about money (the job thing has me supertight) but I have faith all will fall into place and God up there will take care of me.
I've been reading the 4 Agreements Trio which involves the 4 Agreements, the Mastery of Love and the Voice of Knowledge.
My involvement in dating and the learning experiences that went with that had me convinced I was doing something wrong. The Mastery of Love showed me how to navigate in a relationship without being so focused on the other person and where they are, what they are doing with their life,etc.. It was an eye opener and I learned a lot. I used to be so 'what can you offer me' rather than 'you're awesome and talented and wonderful'. The last guy I dated was not the perfect on paper type but he was great in many other ways. It reminded me of Jeffrey and the freedom we had with each other.
That situation ran its course and suffer I did which goes against the whole principle behind these books. But I regained my strength and snapped out of it a few days later.
I changed my perspective on many things and I feel so much more productive now.
My last Eureka moment was walking home from the restaurant training. I was reflecting on how I needed to learn the restaurant menu to financially save my life.
So I posted on FB 'Learn like your life depends on it..' which is exactly what I was not doing. Like my music or monologues or the marketing campaign I've been wanting to do. My life has been depending on these restaurant gigs for so long that I got sucked into the unproductive lifestyle.
Learn like your life depends on it.
I never thought I'd have to do so.
Thank you God for giving me a smart brain.
Also, thank you for friends/fam that believe in me. Who knows where I'd be without them...