Sunday, February 3, 2013


I applaud parents who support their kids wanting a career in the arts.
My parents were wonderful but looking back on how many times I asked my mom to go to the Arts High school, telling my mom I wanted to enroll in the theatre program at FSU, I always heard a straight 'no' or some derivative like 'why don't you get a major you can get a job in and pursue whatever you want after.' Not to sound resentful but they inevitably set me up for failure by not letting me do what I wanted. Especially when I graduate and they cut me off financially and I have no choice but to use the said unwanted major in order to grow up and pay bills.
And here I am at 30 years old complete with my desire to act, sing, dance. etc... But YEARS behind actresses like Emma Stone, Jennifer Lawrence, (yes they're the 'it' girls right now, no I'm not comparing myself to them) whose parents supported their desires from Day 1.
Its frustrating. I know I'm an adult and am in charge of my own fate but you can't replace time. Had I been 'allowed' to continue to perform, I'd have so many years of experience under my belt I'd be much further ahead. sigh.
I know theres no use bitching about the past. You really only have one life to live and time never stops. Life continues to happen. I'm now faced with what is happening to me in that major life changes are about to happen.
I can only hope my future will continue to allow me to pursue performance.
Its just who I am.
I hope staying true to myself and continuing to work hard will pay off, no matter how old I turn.

on another note:
I'm reading a book right now called 'the $100 start-up' because I'm in the process of starting my own business to support myself and be able to pursue my dreams on my time.
One of the first questions they ask is 'Can you imagine yourself doing your passion 40 hours a week?' Rehearsal? LOVE. Rehearsals are my favorite. If I could spend all day everyday rehearsing and practicing for a show, I would.
Crossing fingers for the future.

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