The Benefits of a Breakup

We've all been there. Whether you're the enlightened instigator, the receiver who had no idea it was coming or it was mutually beneficial to end the relationship, breakups are common occurrences and not necessarily a bad thing. Other than the obvious 'you're better off...' a breakup can really give you material for a plethora of emotions you don't access on a daily basis. Confusion, rage, hurt, anger, sadness, depression, relief, freedom, loss, happiness, self-awareness, sometimes it's like taking baby steps back into your own sense of self, sometimes its gaining awareness of who you are and how you've grown as a person, a measure of strength, wisdom gained, a realization of losses or gains from being alone. They're tough. But when viewed upon as adding to the library of experiences in which to go back to, if you feel at a loss, think again.
You've gained.

Realization, Revitalization and Nourishment

So for the longest time I've had the crazy internal conflict between acting and design. Its mostly due to the thought of how can I be successful if I don't give one of them my all? It'd really eat me up inside because I always thought I HAD to choose and for three years I've been in a cloud of what ifs and torn up inside of leaving my performance craft bc of my lack of a 401k and benefits.
Then recently I realized I need to just see myself as an artist. I create. By performing I create emotions. By drawing I create something physically beautiful. By designing I'm solving visual problems creatively. But ultimately, I create and seeing myself as an artist that inhabits many talents took a huge load off my shoulders. Now I have no limitations. I should surround myself with those that do the same. I should continue networking and engage in conversation with people I wouldn't think to, nurture those relationships and continue the collaborations.
I'm thinking of taking up synchronized swimming on Wednesday nights. I want to draw humans. I'm creating a lyric book.
go go go go go go go go
:)

Aaaaaaah!

Since my last post I've acquired a manager and gone out for two commercial auditions. I've had a laugh at both of them, one being a fast food commercial and convincing the public someone was robbing my purse and the other having to speak in a Mexican Spanish accent. I get so excited when I think the director likes me that I tend to obsessively check my email. I guess it's natural when you start thinking good things are happening. Pray that with these auditions will come come some steady work!

Anticipation

I'm writing an hour before I have to head to an interview for possible, hopeful representation.

I never know what to expect in these things so a friend of mine referred me to Bryan O'Neals video to figure out what type I am when I'm asked.

http://actingasabusiness.com/VIDEO.html

After much thought and looking over my resume I'm usually cast as the pretty girl with a dark side. My characters have ranged from 1950's troubled housewife to 17th century prostitutes to It girl going through depression.

I've reminded people of an Audrey Hepburn and Marissa Tomei.



THAT was yesterday.
Today I've moved forward. WITH a manager :)
The interview went very well. I read copy, sang for them, went over what I want in for my career and the next thing I know they said 'Do you have Actora Access?... mark us as your representation'
I was elated!
They told me to check in twice a week and we'll move forward.
Woohoo!

Something must've been in the air yesterday because my beautiful friend Vanessa scored an Agent at The Network East's Agent forum.
Things are looking up!