PARTY IN UNION

I leave work and enter the breakdance circle, tap dancing. :)

Just kidding

The guy in the red was breakdancing. I like the position I caught him in.

this song always puts things into perspective... I recommend reading it.

ELLA
By Bebe (translation below)

Ella esta cansado, de tirar la toalla
va quitando poco a poco telarañas
No ha dormido esta noche, pero no esta cansada
No mirado ningun espejo, pero se siente "toa" guapa

Hoy, ella se ha puesto color en las pestañas
Hoy le gusta su sonrisa, no se siente una extraña
Hoy sueña lo que quiere sin preocuparse por nada
Hoy es una mujer que se da cuenta de su alma

Hoy vas a descubrir que el mundo es solo para ti
que nadie puede hacerte daño, nadie puede hacerte daño
Hoy vas a comprender que el miedo se puede romper con un
solo portazo
Hoy vas a hacer reir porque tus ojos de han cansado de ser llanto, de
ser llanto
Hoy vas a conseguir reirte hasta de ti y ver que lo has logrado

Hoy vas a ser la mujer que te de la gana de ser
Hoy te vas a querer como nadie te ha sabido querer
Hoy vas a mirar pa'lante que pa' atras ya te dolio bastante
Una mujer valiente, una mujer sonriente mira como pasa

Hoy  has nacido la mujer perfecta que esperaba na roto sin pudores
las reglas marcadas
Hoy has calzado tacones para hacer sonar sus pasos
Hoy sabe que su vida nunca mas sera un fracaso

Hoy vas a descubrir que el mundo es solo para ti
que nadie puede hacerte daño, nadie puede hacerte daño
Hoy vas a conquistar el cielo sin mirar lo alto que queda del suelo
Hoy vas a ser feliz aunque el invierno sea frio y sea largo, y sea largo
Hoy vas a conseguir reirte hasta de ti y ver que lo has logrado

Hoy vas a descubrir que el mundo es solo para ti
que nadie puede hacerte daño, nadie puede hacerte daño
Hoy vas a dcomprender que el miedo se puede romper con un solo
portazo
Hoy vas a hacer reir porque tus ojos se han cansado de ser llanto, de
ser llanto
Hoy vas a conseguir reirte hasta de ti y ver que lo has logrado



ENGLISH TRANSLATION

She is tired of throwing in the towel
She gradually removes cobwebs
Se has not slept tonight, but she's not tired
She did not look any mirror, but feels all beautiful
 
Today, she has color on her lashes
Today she likes her smile, she doesn't feel like a stranger
Today she dreams what she wants without worrying about anything.
Today she is a woman who realizes her soul
 
Today you will discover that the world is just for you  
nobody can hurt you, no nobody can hurt you
Today you will understand that fear can be broken with a just bang
Today you will make yourself  laugh because your  eyes are tired of crying, of crying
Today you'll laugh until you get to see , you deserve it/

Today you will be the woman you desire to be the
Today you're going to love like no one has known love  
Today you'll look forward no backward , it already hurt you enough
A brave woman, a smiling woman look at how it happens
 
Today women the perfect woman was born who has broken all the rules
Today she reached for her heels, to make the sound of every step
Today she knows that his life will never be a failure
 
Today you will discover that the world is just for you
no one can hurt you, none can hurt
Today you are going to conquer the sky without looking at how low the ground is
Today you will be happy even if the winter is cold and is long, and its long
Today you'll laugh until you get to see that you have made and deserve

Today you will discover that the world is just for you
nobody can hurt you, no nobody can hurt you
Today you'll understand the fear can be broken with a single bang
Today you will make you laugh because your eyes are tired of crying, of crying
Today you'll laugh and you'll see what you have made, you deserve it

Lyrics

'...Yo soy una montaña rusa que sube que baja
que rie que calla confusa me dejo de llevá llevá
por lo que los dias me quieran mostrar
Soy una montaña rusa que sube que baja...'

'I'm a roller coaster that goes up and down
that laughs and silences, confused I let the days
take me, whatever they will show me..'

hah

I think its funny when people try to use large words and don't know what they really mean. Then try to make you look like and idiot but really it's them.
Just sayin.

LET THE SUN SHINE

I'm finally getting a chance to sit down at my computer for the week and I realize its been 4 days since my last post. This is unacceptable. Though I've been crazy, life isn't always that eventful.

I've learned quite a few things about myself this week one of which may be valuable to others...


Avoid the Light Dimmer
My friend and I are somewhat freshly out of longterm relationships. somewhat. While having met for drinks and doing some major catching up she paid me a very nice compliment and clued me into some valuable insight.

There are certain people who walk into a room and light it up. It can be any room. People are naturally drawn to them regardless of the situation. She said I was one of these people. Thank you, I said.
Then there are people who contribute to the light when around these people and there are those who don't. Those people that don't contribute, don't necessarily not care, but they feel an unnecessary threat. The threat being unnecessary bc the 'light' doesn't even realize they are competing for anything. They are just existing like any other person. So the light dimmers can't help but turn it down some.  For whatever subconscious reason it is. Kind of like raining on your parade. They'll shoot an underhanded compliment when you're feeling good.
Light dimmers.
They don't hinder you but they don't support you either.

and this one sums up my Monday morning....

I opened my eyes and this is what I saw.
I love my apartment.

Sidenote:
what does it mean when you start sleeping in entirely different angles?
I've literally woken up with my feet at the headboard lately.

This picture pretty much sums up my Friday

I left one shoe at home and had to wear sandals with socks for my double shift at work.
Like the Germans do. hah.

For some reason I was in the best mood all day.

Is it a Scotty?

I love Pret a Manger
We didn't have anything like this in Florida.
Their food is amazing and quick, all-natural and tasty.
But my favorite, favorite favorite part is stopping by one and seeing their photofoodart.
That's right, they make fun artwork out of their very own ingredients and it gets pretty creative.

I'll slowly post more and more of these fun pics.

www.pretamanger.com

Must kill the cat.

I think its safe to say I'm  addicted to men.
I had a great time in college and still no addictions. I'm not a 'huge fan of ' anything really.
Growing up I didn't have NKOTB posters plastered everywhere. I just wasn't my thing. I was constantly rearranging my furniture, though I did have an entire wall covered with pictures of me and my friends for years.
Even with cigarettes, I loved smoking but the day I decided to quit was the day my love affair ended. Although, I may indulge in one after I've had 5 drinks too many. :)

So back to men.
I have an uncanny ability to bounce back after a relationship. Its not that I'm over the ex but if you aren't for me then you aren't for me and I'm pretty good at finding distractions.

I think it had to do with that one die-hard relationship. That one lasted years beyond the breakup and became so unhealthy. That relationship made me realize that I don't want to suffer anymore. I don't want to settle and I don't want to put up with suffering.

I've had a few boyfriends since then.
I can't say its been easy. Even now I'm rebounding from who I thought was 'the one' or 'the one thats not for me'.
There has been light communication and I find myself going into that obsessive state of mind, checking emails every 10 minutes hoping to find a little glimmer of an 'I miss you' somewhere..
and I don't like it. The vulnerability sucks.

Clean cut is the way to go
But why is it so hard?

I can't help but be curious.

chauvinism Improv style

I have one of the funnest Improv classes. Its 101 beginner.
For the first time since we started class we had an all girl group get up there- unintentionally.

So of course we ask for a suggestion and the guys immediately say- CHAUVINISM!

and I got up and did a monologue of my last post. All of the guys, I'm happy to say, were shocked too and one guy even said 'you go girl!' hahahah

The skits were hilarious.
One of which was 'forming and all girls club' - lines 'do we have to wear bras?' 'we will on the days we have dates' 'oh great bc I'm broke' ' broke?' , 'um, hello thats why I'm always on a date! duh!'

Next skit- two girls playing two guys
'Man I hate paying for stuff..' 'lets dress up as chicks' 'cool as long as I get sequins'
and the scenes went on....

Graduation improv show is this Saturday at noon!

Cunni-dickhead

I recently stopped dating someone because he completely dumbfounded me at how crude, rude and disgusting he can be as a defense mechanism. (he was the sweetest gentleman to start) Short of going into stories, we were around his friends and I didn't feel like being affectionate bc I was already turned off by something that happened another night. Not only did he completely disregard that I'm a lady, please help if I'm carrying a 50 lb bag walking around the streets of Manhattan all night,  something his friend noted as well (he only did it 'if it would make me move faster'), he apparently thought it would turn me on to tell me, in front of his friends, what his 'plans' were for me that night by using a popular peace sign to mouth gesture and completely embarrass the hell out of me.
He went home alone that night.
Who raises boys like this?

PEOPLE DON'T CHANGE

I know this is a known fact though people would really like to believe some people would or do. Even if the person wants to change, its a full time commitment. For example, I would LOVE to be a long distance runner all the time. Unfortunately, my work schedule doesn't allow it as often as I'd like and frankly, its easier to come home and relax on the couch than run 6 miles. In the end, if you want someone to be an awesome person and they don't want to be awesome all the time, then its over.

EEEE!!!

How is it possible it's taking me hours to design my own business card??
I designed business cards for people for 4 years!

frustration ensues....

Next to Inaugural Post part 1

I wanted to have my first post be a good solid summary of why I started a blog, but if anybody knows me, when something inspires me, I can't ignore it.
So-let the second be the first or the first be the second!

My purpose is to document my entire existence in not only pursuing my dream of being on stage but the daily toils and troubles that come with just being a Florida girl moving to New York in general. I was heavily into design and photography in Miami and my camera broke right before moving here. I purchased an iphone and it helped but beyond that I kept no diary and regret it.

Moving here alone is a 13 year dream in the making.
My first trip when I was 15 for a dance convention and I've always looked back since.

It's been a year and a half of firsts which would be impossible to document in one post but just so you get an idea....

first time I experienced snow (that I have memory of)
first time I got lost in 18 degree weather in Harlem at 4am (more on that later)
first time I went to a bar and was chatted up by a  porn director (no thanks buddy)
first male roommate (dirty dishes in the fridge- really?? gross)

you get the picture. I'll slowly dabble firsts into my blogs as they come to me.

Otherwise, I'm excited to take account of my life and share it with whoever decides to read and see whats going on lately. This has been an incredible experience for me
thus far and hopefully it'll keep getting better!

Have a great day!

xo

"just because someone doesn't love you like you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have"

I heard this from my yoga teacher reading a passage at the end of class.
Whether or not it's true, this statement changed my perspective on thoughts of my past relationship today.
Everyone has their idea of the perfect relationship and how they want to be loved. When it doesn't work that way you think they don't love you but they do. I'm sure of it.

Damn.
It is much easier to be angry.
hah.



xo