Saturday, September 4, 2010

I'm at a standstill right now and its driving me crazy. I'm making moves to change my life and I have no answers. My thoughts will not shut off. I want to work in fashion. I'm reconsidering acting. Its Saturday afternoon, I have the entire day off to myself. I didn't play the soundtrack from 'An Education' which has become my Saturday morning ritual. My ex is trying to get back in my life(?) My apt won't be ready til mid-october. Do I have to pay for the 2 weeks time after my lease is up? How much is this going to cost me? Will I have a roommate and can I really do this if a roommate bails? Is there a reason why my life is what it is? When will I get to the point where I want to be? I can imagine it but its not my face I see for some reason. I'm 28, feel like I just graduated and starting over. I've been feeling like this for a year and a half and I'm still at the same place where I started, other than further in debt than then. 

breathe.
a guy at work tattooed that to his wrist. I'm  contemplating tattooing 'relax' on my wrist.

I'm glad I sold my car. I'm glad I have a great family. I'm glad I have good friends. I'm glad I have exciting stuff to do next week.
Wednesday:concert, Thursday: film screening, Friday: Fashion night out, Saturday work and Sunday work. 

I want to take the entire month of January off to go home and sew clothes with my mom. I want to spend time with my adorable nieces and nephews. I want my husband to appear sooner than later.

I've pressed play on the itunes three times and it still hasn't played. AH
the intro to 'sunday kind of love' always relaxes me. Its nostalgic and takes me to another era.
and now I'm singing. 
I think thats why I love to sing. It's a form of release when you really don't know the right words to say. and I love a good piano.

and now I feel much much better.

'A sunday kind of love' video

2 comments:

  1. Take care of yourself, Frances... Drive is good, but you have to take care of you, too. Take it from someone who didn't.

    I'm going to come see you in the fall at some point. Don't know when exactly, but will head up your way...if nothing else, you can show me the cool places to drink in NYC and I can stock up your fridge.

    xoxo

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  2. yay! come see meeeeeee!!!!

    and I'm am. I put a lot on my plate and I'm slowly releasing some of the stuff for my own sanity. I'm realizing my needs and I'm wanting to make changes for the better. But it's limbo time. Lots of unanswered questions and I'm a bit of a control-my-own-destiny-freak.
    :)
    which is why I need to chillax

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